It has been way too long since I have written a post. With school ending and now watching my daughter all day throughout the Summer time for myself has been quite scarce.
CampNaNoWriMo is coming up quick! I have decided to write a personal story one in which I am not sure I’ll ever publish. Time will tell I guess.
I’m sitting in my office in the early morning hours with the ceiling fan whirring overhead. The cool air flows over me and cools my warm skin. I sit here in the quiet pondering the story I’ll be writing. I know it will be hard because it will bring up some things…memories and emotions that have long sat stuffed inside, screaming to be let out. Writing things out will work for me in a couple of ways. 1) It betters my craft, and 2) by writing out the memories and emotions that haunt me from my childhood, they will be processed and help me to recover and finally be free from this PTSD.
In my last post I said I was working on a book about caring for and losing my mother at age 17. This story will be part of what goes on. One person in my family caused a lot of hurt, maybe not knowingly because that person had their own issues, but the stress of living with a hurtful person for over 22 years has caused some things I need to work through. During those years, I also lost my mother, whose death I have not fully grieved because at the time I did not feel safe enough to grieve as I should have been able to.
But now my life has turned a 180 and my home is a safe place to be with nurturing people in my life. I have a story to tell, maybe two. So that is what I’ll be working on this CampNaNoWriMo. Not matter how hard it gets when everything comes to the surface, I know now it is the only way to get through PTSD, to heal from it, and be able to move on.
I know this is kind of depressing, but come November I’ll work on something fun! That, I look forward to.
Okay, so I’ve spilled my guts. What are you working on this July?